Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. In my case it writes. As we sat at a football game last night my mind raced with the history I’ve experienced from coast to coast. I don’t know how many stories like mine are out there, but I’m sure I’m not the only one because as I’m fond of writing the words of Solomon, “there’s nothing new under the sun.”
I woke up this morning thinking about the book. The book I want to write is about my experiences from coast to coast and the battle I fight with depression. I think I’m going to refer to this memoir as the book till I write a title for it. It might take as long to write as it has to learn to play the guitar, but I don’t care because both activities infuse me with a hope I can’t describe with words. I might try. My brother Jason, who reads every word of this blog, might be called in for reinforcement. Follow his blog by clicking here.
God’s presence will no doubt be a common denominator because how could He not since He knit me together in my mother’s womb? I don’t see how any Jesus follower who writes not write about the power of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. He shows up and runs through five on one like Michael Jordan did for breath taking lay ups and dunks.
It’s 6:30am on a Saturday right now, and even though I’m about to get a second cup of coffee our Father is this alert 24/7. I cannot comprehend that.
My good friend Amy and I have life changing conversations that I cannot put a price tag on. You see we both fight mental illnesses that paralyze us at times from being “normal” people. By the grace of the Father we’ve both been given work that sets us apart for purpose, and we marvel many times at the gratitude we have for it. Obviously we are holy (agios, set apart) in our calling, but the secondary calling is a powerful calling that is very important to human beings. Amy’s bookstore and my cleaning service are vital parts of our community that are coping resources we use to bear our sickness. God’s vastness and love have so many avenues of abundance that nothing goes unnoticed in His economy.
His mercies are new every morning, and this one is no exception. I just had a thought about death that entered my head as I contemplate my own mortality. In the span of eternity, if you can use span and eternity together, my experience here even if it is from coast to coast pales in comparison. Epic hardly describes even 100 years of life on this global village. I’d love to live to be 100, but if I don’t the trade off is worth it. That comforts me beyond words. That puts my perspective in the right place because as I confidently think about the place They are preparing for me the finest house on this planet will look like a shack when paired with that.
The worst that Satan can throw at me will not deter me from that. That’s epic. Words are powerful, and I think my Abba Father for the power of words. I especially thank Him for the words I read in the Bible which have the power to turn the darkest of hearts to Him. He’s been in the business of turning water to wine, raising the dead and healing terminal illnesses for a little while, and I don’t think He’s stopped doing that. I know He hasn’t stopped doing that period! The evidence is overwhelming, and even when mankind gives up on me He does not! Even when I give up on mankind He does not give up on them. You cannot purchase that kind of hope!
It’s like the woman who gave all she had, yet the others wanted their peers to see the amount they were giving. You know the end of that story. The woman was praised. God could care less about your net worth. He could care less about the people you know and name drop, but what He does care about is that you take care of widows and orphans and that you keep yourself from being polluted by the world.
I wish I had had these thoughts in 2000. I might be in a better place than I am now, but I’ve always been a “late” bloomer. It doesn’t matter because not only am I loved by God, but my eternal destiny is secure because of His Son’s death, burial and resurrection. All I can do is say wow.
I don’t know what you’re up against unless you share it in the comments below or I read your memoiric blog. What I do know is that God has placed before you an open door that no one can shut, and though I think good exegesis sees that scripture (Rev. 3.8) as referring to the death, burial and resurrection I’m going to take some hermeneutical freedom in saying that it also means that those of us who are late bloomers can become winners. That might be a little prayer of Jabez materialism, but that’s for God to decide. God’s second chances are epic, and if He decides to open a door I dare you to try and shut it. It ain’t gonna happen.
Depression, PTSD, Bi-polar disorder, fear, shame and anger are nothing compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus our LORD.
I’m getting ready to go the bank to cash a check, but that’s where the real value is.
To those who have ears let them hear.