Filling The Voids

I came in from church, and I noticed I had stomach hunger pains. I took care of it with a tortilla and slice of cheddar. I had a diet epiphany.

I’ve used food many times as therapy. That’s why I weigh 230. I should weigh around 180. So yes I’m overweight, but I justify overeating by the job I have. I work 40 hours a week cleaning houses. Obviously I’m not burning the extra calories I consume. I think to myself that I “need” to consume extra calories because my job is manual labor. Maybe. When I was working for Coca-Cola those guys could work a 12 hour day with no lunch. I cannot do that, but I don’t have to sit down for a meat and three every day for lunch. My blood sugar is such that I have to have something for lunch. But I also don’t have to go back for seconds at dinner or clear my wife and daughter’s plate into my belly.

I have a success story to share. Last night we were watching the Vols get beat in Lexington, and I’m happy to say I did not overeat at dinner, nor did I get up and go to Sonic for dessert seconds. It crossed my mind all the way through the first half, but I’m thankful to say I did not cross the threshold into the driveway to make that happen.

I eat when I’m sad. I eat when my depression flares up. I sometimes eat when I’m not even hungry for whatever reason.

I began working on this piece weeks ago, and I decided to continue it because I liked what I wrote above this sentence.

It made me think about the voids of life, and how we fill them, and for many of us we use food to fill the voids. No wonder so many of us are overweight or obese. The voids and emptiness are palpable. We believe lies that the extra piece of cake will remove the ache in our hearts, and when it doesn’t we hate ourselves even more because not only are we just as empty, but there’s extra flesh that screams unworthy back at us.

We’ve got to give ourselves mercy. This screaming rage leaves our driveways too, and happiness becomes all about what is outside of us. Happiness is found inside. Satisfaction is found deep inside our minds and hearts of love for God, ourselves and others. I can write that all day, but until I believe it nothing will change. Scripture from Genesis to Revelation is replant with that message. If you need to read the Bible more for it to sink in than be my guest, but I think more than anything we both need to remind ourselves that God loves us deeper than we can imagine or feed our intelect to know.

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