The blank page, lying messages and torrential torment of depression can be overwhelming. As I was coping with that I remembered an Albus Dumbledore quote. I had to look it up because I wanted it word for word.
Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it.
I also contemplated faith because I think if I were to choose a word to describe me it would be faith. I have faith that each time I turn to the Father He gives me words for the pain. He gives me words for celebrating too, and in relationship with others He gives me the concentration to listen to their words. Faith reveals the validity of the prayers I offer just about every hour to heal my father-in-law as well.
I think I’ve had a post like this before, but the idea really struck a chord with me today. I was north of Nashville today, and some of you understand what that means because I told you, but as I left the house I cleaned memories flooded my mind as I headed to a bank to make a deposit for my mother-in-law. I stopped at Burger King for lunch, and I headed south to Black Dog and The Well. Failure swam through my mind the way the rain swept through our city in 2010, but the gracious positivity I received from my customer empowered me to forget about the negative shit I got in an email. It drove me deeper into the enthusiasm I have right now for sole proprietorship. I was able to push it out of my mind, and I entered vicariously into my daughter being asked to homecoming, but that one negative email continues to loom as I prepare for bed.
Depression is never logical. The anger I fight is down right illogical. Depression and anger are like baseball and hotdogs. Captain America and Marvel don’t have anything on depression and anger. I could care less if Trump is the chosen one. He’s not. Depression doesn’t care who it chooses.
Never underestimate the power of one simple step forward. Take courage in the fact that we are powerless to change ourselves. Recovery is just that. Powerless I am, but one step is power. The validity of the 12 steps isn’t because we keep a checklist. It’s that we take one day at a time concentrating on the very next thing.
Sometimes that means shutting the computer down and going to bed.
Goodnight dear ones.