Injustice is evil wherever it happens. Anger at injustice is justified, but expressing it for some of us is counter-productive. That’s been a hard lesson for me to learn because I am very much a first born alpha male.
Identity is an interesting segway from that thought. What I believe about myself can change, and it frequently does. My beliefs can in turn change the course of the decisions I make and experiences I have, but to erase my memory of the bad things that have happened is impossible. They don’t have to control me like they used to, but they are forever seared into my mind as I distrust others. It’s sad, but it’s a reality many people live with. I have never subscribed to a Pollyanna perspective, and when I interact with people like that I quickly write them off.
I realize that is not Christ-like, and I really do more than anything in the world want to be more like Jesus. Sometimes turning the other cheek is avoiding situations where anger management goes out the window, and other times it’s ignoring sins against me that cannot be avoided.
This is the life I’ve chosen. I make no apologies for being a believer in Jesus Christ because his suffering and resurrection will one day make all this better, but until then I am content to “strive” in the power of the Holy Spirit not to sin. I am in all regards helpless to do this hence the reason I’ll always be in recovery. The pain is too powerful to confess anything less, and it’s not fatalistic as some would say. It’s a realist attitude, but it recognizes a great power with Whom nothing is impossible. You may say I speak with forked tongue, but I merely change the Pauline semantic about doing that which I do not want to do.
My heart will forever be soft for the presence of God because to turn from that is certain perishment. We can argue about the word perish the same way we can argue about God’s foreknowledge, but it would not resolve. God is sovereign is what matters, and a little blog post isn’t going to affirm or negate that. I still love to write, and these thoughts set me free. His activity is real in my life, and there is nothing that can separate any of us from that.
I will say this. I continue to practice evangelism because I do not want others to be susceptible to demonic forces. Believers have the power of the Holy Spirit, and the Holy Spirit does not allow demon possession. That’s a whole can of worms my friend Joe Beam wrote a book about. The title is Seeing The Unseen. Next to the Bible and some of Frank Peretti’s novels, Seeing The Unseen is on my top five favorite books list. This stuff is too important not to read what others have to say about it.
Injustice I am guilty of. Injustice against me is obvious. What comes around goes around, but I continue to speak with forked tongue. His presence seems to be lacking, but it isn’t. In suffering and celebration He remains, and He is just as much Father in the former as He is in the later.
Call upon Him always.
I feel you. I am forever healing and hurting at the same time, with the irony of having a confident hope, God has a big pleasant surprise. People abuse me, intentionally hurt me, but psalms 23 redeems me. 🙌🏾