Imposter?

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Justin Essah

Life is without a doubt hard at times. This is not one of those times. I just cleaned a beautiful home, and I had an uneventful trip home. I’m now partaking of one of the richest blessings God gives me everyday. This blog is what I’m referring to.

I understand when people feel like an imposter because I struggle with that too. I’ve heard authors say blog writing isn’t real writing, and they are entitled to that opinion. When I see this blog as a blessing from my Father it drastically changes my perception about writing. I am a writer. I have something valuable to contribute to the world when it comes to crafting words together to encourage others. When I was a pastor another pastor compared me to the biblical character Barnabas, whose name means son of encouragement. I took great pride in that compliment, and obviously it still resonates in my mind these many years later.

Feeling like an imposter can cause paralysis by analysis. Those of us who fight mental illness are all too familiar with this self-defeating habit. It’s like a virus that goes deep, and in some cases can hang on for years. Breaking free of it is important. I have to continually break free of it. It doesn’t just go away one morning when I wake up, or go away one night when I go to sleep. It’s like the effort those of us take in pushing the plate back at meal time so we don’t overeat. You have to fight it continually. Lies, self-deceit, the hate we get from others and the fear every human being fights anticipating rejection is real. Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5), but let’s not forget the lengths Satan goes through to sabotage the progress in our lives. He wants us to give into fear, isolate ourselves, and remind ourselves of every past failure we’ve had. He and his minions aren’t interested in empowering us to put the past behind us for future success. Why else are there a high percentage of repeat offenders in our legal system? Sure people make poor choices, but when there’s a powerful evil being that has an extensive network of powerful evil beings connected to his agenda then we are up against so much more than individuals making bad choices. We don’t condone any wrong doing, and we hold those near us accountable for bad thinking and bad choices, but we also pray for protection from evil and that the Father bless the work of our hands. I’ve been praying that every morning for my daughter since the fourth grade. She’s a freshman in high school now. Young ladies are susceptible to the imposter syndrome. The pressures they are under to be pretty and smart are unrelenting. They are also some of the kindest and gentlest human beings. When I am harsh with my daughter I always apologize, and she always gives me a second chance. Talk about a blessing. I have great expectations for my daughter, but if all she does is get a high school diploma I will love her and like her as much as if she gets a Ph.D. Performance, physical beauty and safety are fleeting, but when you have the unconditional acceptance of an omnipotent Father through loyal friends you’ve got something money can’t buy. It’s priceless.

I may accuse myself of not being a writer. My daughter make accuse herself of not being smart enough, but as we both hold each other near we can assure each other that those are lies.

It’s my prayer that as you battle the lies you deal with that the Father will put people into your life that will do the same.

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