I was in Cookeville, TN yesterday when I wrote the previous post. I was a tad early for the basketball game I attended, so I had lunch at a Wendy’s close by. Obviously I had time to write too.
I texted Amy a day or so ago to see if Black Dog had a copy of Blue Like Jazz, but she didn’t. It’s no big deal because I have it on my Kindle, but like Amy I prefer to hold a book in my hands, rather than a digital copy. As an aspiring author though you can’t ignore the demographic that comes through technology like Kindle. I’ll always have a library, but of course I have a Kindle too. I’ll go months without picking up my Kindle because 90% of my reading happens with a book in my hands. That’s not what this post is about however.
Blue Like Jazz has sold over a million copies, so obviously it filled a need people wanted filled. It’s not this awe inspiring memoir that changed the world, but it changed enough worlds that I’m still writing about it 16 years later. I think it was written in 2003. I have many times started to write my own Blue Like Jazz, and I’m sure my brother Jason is worn out from reading my posts about those existential questions. Maybe I’m narcissistic, and I like the attention I get, but he also knows the secret reasons I have yet to write and publish it. The Bible says to work out your faith with fear and trembling, and as one who takes a very high view of Scripture I’ve done this my entire life. This question fits into that category. Every question filters through that category, but that’s the thought that crossed my mind.
Life never goes the way you think it should. I still find myself staring into space when I camp on the fact that David is gone. I know Ty and Nancy do the same with Ty. Death is so final, but one thing I’ve learned is not to ignore the grinding process of a single moment in this thing we call life. There is truly a thing called paralysis by analysis, and I think that’s one powerful reason Proverbs 3.5-6 rests in the Hebrew Bible. I write “rests,” but I’m seeking to bring it to a document that is “living and active.” I put living and active in quotes not to discredit them, but to emphasize them as words originating in the New Testament.
Blue Like Jazz is still a beautiful memoir that describes Don Miller’s faith journey, and I’m more than thankful he wrote it. It’s inspired me to write my own for many years. I’d imagine I’ve read it a jillion times. I think a jillion is over 10 times. 🙂
I think some of what God is teaching me in the loss of David is not to miss the process that leads to a destination. That’s easy to do, and because we are so judged by the results of our work we fail to live in the moment. That smacks of ignorance in the face of goal oriented semantics, but it’s essential for those who desire contentment.