My heart is filled to overflowing for some women who are speaking truth and courage into my heart. I’m not going to reveal their identity, but the Father knows my gratitude for them. When God moves in the lives of people to move other people it’s unmistakable, and the only thing I need to do is offer gratitude.

I think many of these inspirations came from Kevin’s sermon on Sunday, and those remarks were centered around Ephesians 1.15-23; 3.20. This time has driven me to the word of God, and I’ve opened by Bible apart from Sunday. Those two passages are bringing a healing I desperately needed. Healing is a lifelong process, and I’m grateful the Holy Spirit’s presence is forever in me since receiving her gift many years ago. Those directed from an inner place of faith and love have an advantage to those who are governed by outside forces.

Evidence supports this in my latest round of counseling with an amazing woman from Vanderbilt Medical Center. She has already shown the vital importance cognitive therapy has through meditation, and I can’t think of a more important situation than now to put that into practice. I am not suicidal in my depression as I’ve written here before, but suicide attempts have increase exponentially during this quarantine. God in his presence knows the pain we suffer even when the worst happens, and we begged him not to let it happen. Bad happens, but that does not mean we freeze inside our homes. It’s hard to get out. It’s hard sometimes just to walk from the bedroom to the kitchen to make coffee. Sometimes I didn’t go to work. You have a plethora of your own crosses you could bare here too.

Hear this precious one. I love you. We may not have been face-to-face, but one thing my crosses are teaching me is that I love those I’m connected to. Even if that’s just through a blog. My heart is growing 10x larger because of the grief I have for David, the love I have for Carey and Chloe, and at the risk of being melodramatic for so many others because I serve a God who loves the whole world. This pandemic was not fair, but we are getting through it, and we will be stronger even if a 2nd or 3rd wave hits.

Breath deeply. Read the Bible. Listen to Bethel, Hillsong and Passion. It will pull rivers of tears from your eyes, but crying can be some the best therapy you ever get. Let it rain dear one. Let it rain.