Even In The Waiting

Photo by Karsten Winegeart on Unsplash

“Sometimes in recovery you have to take things one moment at a time. One little baby step at a time. And knowing that Jesus was there next to me, I didn’t have to be afraid” (Bloom, 2017 ISBN: 9781389768804, Beauty Beyond Bones)

My van decided to give up before I was ready for it to do that. COVID-19 was created and released into our world, and we didn’t even want it. I don’t know if Satan works on a metaphysical level, but he uses those things to destroy us. Well, in the case of Job he most certainly creates physical atrocities to drive us from the Father, but Job’s patience is legendary. I’m thankful we have that real life story.

Back to my van situation. My van is parked at a business where I get my automobiles worked on, and I’m going to have to tow it to a junkyard. I’ve also been texting my brother who sells cars, and I’m waiting to hear from his finance guy about a 2009 Honda Accord I’m trying to buy. Obviously I have to have a vehicle to transport my cleaning supplies from house to house, and thankfully I don’t have any customers till Wednesday, so I’m hoping I can take ownership of this Honda. I wait.

I say all that to bring us full circle to the recovery I’m in. If this is your first time to Beyond Sad I fight depression. I’ve fought depression since 1983, the year I also became a Christian, but Christians don’t suffer less than non-Christians. Some Pollyanna thinkers in the church think that when you choose Jesus you suffer less. That’s a lie Satan likes to use to leverage more destruction. Job is perfect example of that. Caralyn, the author of Bloom, and I are more contemporary examples of that in our respective crosses. Life is hard, and now we all have a cross to bear in COVID-19.

Seems ironic to talk about blooming in all the hurt and pain we have to bear. Our Father is more than able to bring birth and growth in the face of suffering. He’s been creating Cinderella stories since the beginning, and my cyber friend Caralyn is one such example. Her constant reading of this blog inspires me, and I thank you friend for the encouragement. I think you for Bloom as it also aids me in my own recovery, and I know I don’t stand alone in that.

Here is one of my favorite verses I memorized years ago.

There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. – 1 John 4.18

Fear is a terrible taskmaster. All mental illness’ has a facit of fear in it. Whether it’s lies that drive you to achieve beauty, or it’s a drive for significance or safety, fear drives you into unhealthy thinking. That’s the beauty of Christ’s love. He will never lie to you. He will never place demands on you that are unachievable. His love is truly unconditional. That level of relationship is almost incomprehensible, hence songs like Amazing Grace, and so many stories from Genesis to Revelation. I’ve always known about this love because I’ve grown up in the church. I’ve “maintained” a relationship with Christ, and my family and I attend a local church now. Jesus is real to me. I haven’t forsaken my first love. There’s power in that. Not because I haven’t turned my back on Him, but because He never gives up on me.

And that’s what empowers me and you to bloom. Even in the waiting.

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