The One

The parable Jesus told about the shepherd leaving the 99 sheep to go after the one lost sheep is powerful. One person has so much power. One positive experience can save a life. One prayer can move heaven and earth because we have a God who can single in on one hair out of millions of hairs on his creation’s heads.

I’ve been fixated on one as you can see. I get overwhelmed at a simple basket of laundry. I fold one wash cloth, and I strive to be thankful for that one wash cloth. I put one plate in the dishwasher and I keep going. I write a Hebrew consonant with its vowel pointing, and I keep going to get it in my long-term memory. I silently repeat a passage of Scripture to subside my depression, fear and anxiety when it overwhelms me. I simply repeat the name of Jesus over and over when that’s all I can do. If my checking account is overdrawn I dream about the day when it will have six figures in it. I make simple choices that remind me to drive past Starbucks when the only reason I want a tall mocha aren’t need but desire. When I don’t want to write here I login anyway and write one sentence. The one is powerful dear one. Never underestimate the power of one. Yes, it was a Morgan Freeman movie, but it originated with YHWH when he created Adam in the Garden of Eden, and he has yet to quit caring for the one.

He delivers me when I’m alone in my office overwhelmed with grief and depression to the point I’m crying like a baby. The name this blog is beyond sad, and beyond sad is the perfect description for those of us who fight depression, but when I consistently remind myself the cross of Jesus Christ is real I know my suffering is not in vain. His disciples grieved for 3 days wondering if all was lost because the one was gone, but we know in hindsight the one was far from gone, and my depression is not the last word in my purpose on earth.

If you’ve ever read any of Frank Peretti’s novels you know the power of one angel aligned with YHWH. If you’ve ever read the true account of fighting the unseen by Joe Beam you know the power of one angel. Think about the epic power of all aligned forces under the leadership of YHWH. He turns our mourning into dancing. He lifts us up when we are flat on our faces, and the point of Revelation is that God wins. He has conquered death. People still die, but there will come a day when all truth will be exposed for every man, woman and child to unite under. Fear, depression and anxiety will have run their course, and not one of us will have to lament on a blog.

I won’t have to sit here praying for an ankle brace to be delivered by an international carrier, and I won’t have to worry if I’m going to bounce a check. I won’t have to fear whether or not my daughter chooses Jesus or dies in a car accident. I won’t have to resent those I’m angry with because of their ungodly behavior, and they won’t resent me because of my ungodly behavior because ungodly behavior won’t be a part of the New Earth.

The one matters. Covid reminded us of that. Death reminds us all that the one matters. Jesus knew the one mattered because if there was only one person on planet earth he would have come and died. Why do we give so much attention to celebrities? Because the one matters. Why do we scroll Instagram for hours? Because the one matters. Never take a single minute for granted because those single minutes are a promise that the one matters.

Our dog Lucy had a tumor that we had removed twice. It’s now come back a third time, but she’s too old to remove it again. It protrudes from her back right hip, and we have to change her wound dressing several times a day. She continues to eat and sleep, so we are prolonging the inevitable, and when we contemplate the day she leaves us we cry deeply. I took her into the vet recently, and I broke down right in front of the whole staff. Battling depression is for the birds, and I will be thankful when I can function without crying. It sucks, and it’s not fair to those who can’t handle the emotion.

I know we will move on when Lucy passes, but it doesn’t make it easy now. There are hard things in our future I know, but knowing we have a Savior who stared all these things in the face long and hard makes it bearable and barrable. Lamenting and letting others in on our grief as Brene Brown calls it, vulnerablity, is vitally important, and we have a Father who knows it already. You don’t have to broadcast it for the whole world to read like I do, but you do need to tell someone you can trust. Staying silent about it will literally kill you before your time has come, so please respect yourself as the one who breaks the stronghold.

You matter. You are loved. Shame is gone because Jesus is here.

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